Curse

dansamy · Sep 24, 2005, 06:20 AM // 06:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by OverlordTyrael

Actually, she's probably not. I know that doesn't exactly help, but hey, I'd rather you have the truth than believe a lie.

Actually, if she likes you or is interested in you, she's nervous too. I never really gave it much thought when I started dating. I worked with a fellow who walked up one night when I was on break and asked me wht book I was reading. I, doing my usual, just showed him the cover and returned to reading. He sat down. Next to me. I wanted him to leave me alone. The next couple weeks, he brought his own book and sat next to me and read, too. And that's how my first relationship started. We dated for about 6 months.

conker · Sep 24, 2005, 06:38 AM // 06:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by dansamy

Actually, if she likes you or is interested in you, she's nervous too. I never really gave it much thought when I started dating. I worked with a fellow who walked up one night when I was on break and asked me wht book I was reading. I, doing my usual, just showed him the cover and returned to reading. He sat down. Next to me. I wanted him to leave me alone. The next couple weeks, he brought his own book and sat next to me and read, too. And that's how my first relationship started. We dated for about 6 months.

u are a girl right

Ultimate_Gaara · Sep 24, 2005, 07:51 AM // 07:51

Girls confuse me, so i tend to keep my distance from them at all costs when ever i can (outside of school only obviously... i can't avoid the ones i have to do projects with)

Pr1nc355SaRa · Sep 24, 2005, 09:38 AM // 09:38

there is no sure fire way to get a girl to like you, everyone's diffrent, you need to get to know her to find out what she wants first, but don't take too long because IT IS harder to make a relationship out of a good friendship. i've been out with a good friend and we totally lost the friendship after we broke up, it almost always happens like that and that's why girls don't tend to get with friends.

just don't try too hard, don't try to seem over confident when you're obviously not, just be yourself and if that doesn't do it for her find someone else! good luck and all that.

Shadowdaemon · Sep 24, 2005, 12:02 PM // 12:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manderlock

Im sorry been there done that, bought the t-shirt and it sucked. If you become a "friend" thats what they think of you as. Getting her to think of you as a "Boy-friend" is 500x harder.

while i normally dont agree with this guy, he is 100% right on this one, i dont know why it is this way, but it is

Jakerius · Sep 24, 2005, 12:23 PM // 12:23

Dude, just head-butt her in the chest, and ask her to be your girlfriend.
She'll be so stunned by your originality, she'll say yes before even realising your question!

Or she'll have a heart-attack from the blow... but you've still got a shot, buddy

Quote:

Haha, you know I read threads like this and wonder what the hell you're talking about. I've never had trouble talking to women, I never say anything unless I have something to say or unless it's in response to something. Why get tongue-tied? I don't get it. There've been a few people who could've done it for me in the past, but uh...never got tongue tied, or even nervous. I guess that's my self confidence showing through. It's good to not give a RED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GO.

Your self confidence... Alternatively, your arrogance, but w/e.

Toad Healer · Sep 24, 2005, 01:02 PM // 13:02

just be your self plain and simple. if she does not like you for who u are then she will never like you. o and when your mumbling things they will gigle and that help to talk to her.

Xue Yi Liang · Sep 24, 2005, 01:27 PM // 13:27

It's ok to start "as friends" - as long as you don't hold back any chance to show her that you have some interest. "Nice guys" tend to use friendship as an "in" but get terrified of messing it up so they bury their feelings and wait forever for the right opportunity to arise. Expressing some interest is just one way of being honest. After you get to know her, respect her enough to let her know what's on your mind.

Compliment her appearance (when you mean it - don't force the situation). Notice when she changes her hairstyle (or perfume/soap/shampoo if you're aware of these things).

Face it, expressing your interest (even just initially) means you'll have to stick your neck out and take a chance you might even be shot down. Big deal. Everyone has to face it some day. Just don't take it personally if it happens - You never know - don't be surprised if she's got a boyfriend or if her family is expecting her to have an arranged marriage. (I've dated Indian women before - you might be surprised that this still goes on BTW)

Xue Yi Liang · Sep 24, 2005, 01:30 PM // 13:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by dansamy

Actually, if she likes you or is interested in you, she's nervous too. I never really gave it much thought when I started dating. I worked with a fellow who walked up one night when I was on break and asked me wht book I was reading. I, doing my usual, just showed him the cover and returned to reading. He sat down. Next to me. I wanted him to leave me alone. The next couple weeks, he brought his own book and sat next to me and read, too. And that's how my first relationship started. We dated for about 6 months.

Aww. That's sweet. Why did it end?

midnyte13 · Sep 24, 2005, 04:28 PM // 16:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by Serps

Treat her like a friend until you're no longer tongue-tied. That way, you won't screw up.

Dont go into the friend zone if you want to be more than friends. once there, there is no way out. Echo is on the right track. Be yourself. cleanliness is next to godliness. find a common interest. be courteous and polite. .and dont think too much about it. let it happen. if it does it does. if it dont it.........

zehly · Sep 24, 2005, 05:12 PM // 17:12

We girls make very little sense. To be honest, if you can figure us out, please tell me. I'm still trying.

gerbon · Sep 24, 2005, 05:17 PM // 17:17

easy talk ... i got the same problem lol
oh well i guess confidence comes with age ...

Manderlock · Sep 24, 2005, 06:58 PM // 18:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shadowdaemon

while i normally dont agree with this guy, he is 100% right on this one, i dont know why it is this way, but it is

Dang, Am I really that bad?

Autumn_Leaf · Sep 24, 2005, 07:18 PM // 19:18

totally agree with the don't be in the firend-zone thing. reason being is that after a while she will concider u a friend and think that entering a relationship with u can cause harm to the frienship if things don't work out.

as to what to say to the girl start woth this
"hi, u wanna hang out after school?" simple and to the point. it shows that your interested, but not needy.
remember:
1. don't do anything stupid,
2. try to talk to her when none of your or her stupid friends are around because they can mess the whole thing up. ( u do not need distractions to an already stressful moment)

dansamy · Sep 24, 2005, 08:07 PM // 20:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by conker

u are a girl right

LMAO!! Honey, I am a woman. I passed girlhood a loooong time ago.

Aracos79 · Sep 24, 2005, 08:30 PM // 20:30

One big problem with starting "as friends"... and I speak from experience as all the girls I dated I started out being friends with. It's a great place to start from... but it's a terrible place to end. What I mean by that is, if it doesn't work and you break up... it is VERY difficult to remain friends. I have lost some of the best friends I've ever had this way. My girlfriend from college most especially, who aside from my wife, I was closer to than anyone else... hasn't spoken with me since we broke up. That's been hard for me to take, even now years later.

I'm not saying that always happens, or that it'll happen to you... but if it does it hurts. So just be mindful of that... because it really sucks.

Witchblade · Sep 24, 2005, 09:10 PM // 21:10

i m probably the worst one when it comes to girl stuff ...

but i think the "friend" idea isnt that good... maybe its different in the US or elsewhere, (i heard so much amazing stories from friends etc from NY etc ^^ omg ^^) ... but when u start things this way... and the "friendship" works... it ll never be anything more than that... too late then .. thats how i d say this

sino-soviet · Sep 24, 2005, 09:34 PM // 21:34

Its a tough call. Assuming I get rejected....I am scared because after that, I probably won't have another chance. I'll sit in class next to her thinking "Wow, I am such an idiot".

Witchblade · Sep 24, 2005, 09:37 PM // 21:37

love is twisted stuff, huh?

Spartan2 · Sep 24, 2005, 10:31 PM // 22:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xue Yi Liang

By all means, be yourself. It's not really difficult at all to get a date if you're willing to be "a player" but, in the long run, you'll have better and more fulfilling personal relationships if you remain sincere in word and deed.
[...]
Learning about women is what a player does.
Learning about one woman is what a real man does.

So, what is it called when you are a player yet know everything about each women you interract with? xD Not trying to be arrogant but I could easily date any of the girls that I hang out with yet I choose not to. Why? I'm in high school, dating is to narrow the search for your one and only, and only leads to sex. :-/

Dating is used to also increase your social skills with the opposite sex but after having a pretty deep philosophical conversation with a girl, whom I am very attracted to, she leaned her head against my shoulder and fell asleep. I don't think I need dating if I have it down.

Well, you could say that I dug a niche by going into "friendship" or "big brother" mode, but I'm only in high school. I could easily reinvent myself later for college or what not.

To get to the OT's problem,

, Sino-soviet, you need to get to know her before you do anything. Relationships based purely on looks, aka lust, are doomed to fail. You need to be able to connect with her, no matter how trivial the connection is it can work. You cannot think of dating as defusing a bomb. Dating isn't anywhere near that difficult or instantly detrimental to you if you "fail", she is just another person that you long to talk to, so speak. Have you introduced yourself to her? If not, the best time would be to walk over and introdue yourself if you see her struggling with a class you can help her in, or if you see her at an event you are interested in, such as football games, extra-cirricular activites, etc., just walk over, ask if she enjoys watching ___ and then make a bit of commentary on whatever it is.

Anything on this earth is possible; all that it takes to accomplish is imagination. No matter how absurd something seems, no matter how impossible the task appears, you can do it; no pun intended. Put your mind to it, be creative, be inventive, be truthful.

I could go on for days with optimistic commentary on your situation but I will leave you with what little I have said and let the rest of the community here give their 2 cents as well.